Quinoa and Kale Funk Pucks

About the music: This is basically as healthy as I get. I mean, there is so much good shit packed into the patties it makes me feel like I am about to grow branches. Given the earthy and organic nature of this recipe we though we would give you some nice organic tunes to go with it. “What Kind of Breeze Do You Blow?” is a group that I have never heard anything about other than this mix. They are Canadian, thats all I could find, so that’s cool, eh? Anyways, this mix is mellow and textured at the beginning and really moves into some swinging spacey grooves at the end. So as you mold these balls of health let this mix mold your mind.

Serves: 4
Prep time: 1 hour

2 cups water
1 cup Quinoa
1/3 cup parmesan cheese
4 whisked eggs
6 green onions sliced thin
4 cloves garlic
1/2 tsp salt
1.5 cup steamed kale, chopped
1 cup breadcrumbs
olive oil
1 lemon
1 avocado
some cilantro (optional)


Now that your sufficiently relaxed and groovin’ to this mix, pour the quinoa into a pot with the water and let sit for 15 minutes with no heat. While that is happening, chop everything else. This includes but is not limited to: all the garlic, the onions, kale, a fresh bowl. You can whisk the eggs too.

Put the kale in a steaming basket with about an inch or two of water, a little lemon juice and around 1/4 of your chopped garlic. Don’t turn on yet.

Cover the quinoa and turn on the heat and bring to a bowl. Turn down to low and let simmer, covered, for 20 minutes until it has absorbed the water. About halfway into this turn on the kale and steam, covered, for 7-10 minutes. Take both the kale and the quinoa and throw them into a big bowl and let cool.

You should also probably be swilling on some sort of fine beverage. Perhaps an ice cold Coca-Cola Classico, or if you want something healthier drink some Kombucha you pretentious bastard.

Now mix the eggs, salt, onions, a little lemon zest, breadcrumbs, and parmesan into the bowl with the quinoa and kale. Form small patties with your hands and put on your preparation station (a plate). Put a large skillet on medium high heat with some olive oil. Cook each patty, covered, about 6-7 minutes or until each side is a nice golden brown.

By now this mx should be in full shakedown mode so be careful not to dance too hard while slicing this avocado. Grate some fresh parm on top of each patty, add a piece of avocado and a little cilantro and lemon juice. Yes, its a funk punk, ladies and gentleman.

Adapted from Yummy Supper

Pickin’ On Pot Pie

This Recipe was created and cooked by the Lovely Karensa Newman of FancyFunk so make sure to give her some love.

About the music: Chicken Pot Pie is a comfort dish, no question about it. In an attempt to branch our genre roots a little further out into the world we thought that some nice bluegrass would go well with this dish. Bluegrass is the kind of music that makes you want to be dancing around a campfire with your friends. Its the kind of music that makes you wish you had a piece of straw to chew on while buttoning up your overalls. Its the kind of music that makes you want to cook chicken pot pie. We have included some classics and some songs you probably have never heard of. There are bands that reside in Colorado (yonder Mountain String Band) and some all the way out in New Jersey (Railroad Earth). But the thing about bluegrass is where you come from doesn’t matter as long as you can play a mean banjo. Enjoy.


Serves: 8
Prep Time:

Ingredients for Buttermilk Biscuits:
1 ½ cups all purpose flour
1 ½ cups whole wheat pastry flour
3 tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
1 ½ tsp sugar
¾ tsp salt
6 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch cubes
1 ¼ cup buttermilk (can add more if dough is dry—add a tbsp at a time)

Directions for Biscuits:
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar in a large bowl. With two eating knives cut the butter into the dry ingredients. You will be left with some larger butter clumps but try and cut these with the knife.

Pour buttermilk into dry mixture and mix with a fork or your hands. Here is where you add more buttermilk (1 T at a time) if the dough is too dry—don’t worry you will know

Clean a space on your counter and make sure it is clean! Flour the newly cleaned surface and roll the dough together into a ball with floured hands. Roll the dough out to a ¾ inch thickness and cut out shapes with a variety of Christmas cookie cutters.

Transfer biscuits to a parchment-lines baking sheet and chill for as long as you can.


Ingredients for Chicken Pot Pie Filling:
3 tbsp vegetable oil
2 large onion, chopped
6 medium carrots, peeled and diced
4 celery stalks, diced
Salt and pepper
8 tbsp butter
1 cup flour
3 cups milk (I used 2%)
4 ¾ cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 tsp fresh thyme
6 tbsp dry sherry
6-7 cups chicken, cooked and shredded
1 ½ cups peas (I used frozen peas)
6 tbsp minced fresh parsley

Directions for filling:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Heat a large pot over medium/high heat and then add oil. Sauté onions, carrots and celery until tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer cooked vegetables to a bowl with the cooked and shredded chicken; set aside

Reduce heat to medium and add butter. When melted, add flour, stirring constantly for 1 minute. Whisk milk, chicken broth, and thyme. Allow sauce to come to a simmer and let it thicken for 2 minutes. Add Sherry and season with salt and pepper.

Turn off heat and transfer vegetables/chicken mixture to pot, stirring until ingredients are combined. Add peas and parsley. If filling is too thick (you’ll know), stir in extra chicken broth, about 1/4 cup at a time.

Poor filling into a 12×16 inch baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. Top fillings with uncooked homemade biscuits. Bake for an additional 12 minutes or until biscuits are golden brown and filling is bubbling. Cool for 5 minutes before serving.

Spicy Lentil, Kale, Sausage Soup for Lovers

About the music: Valentine’s Day. Today is the day we eat stale heart shaped candies and grin over their delightful musings. Those of us who support this hallmark holiday dress flowers and chocolates in bows because we can and it is all in the name of love. But here at Sandwich Funk we know that love is more than just a nice card or Valentine’s Day sex-as is tradition. We knew we would be doing a disservice to you all if we didn’t throw a little music and a story into the blender of love.

We are a bunch of romantics over here and put love in terms of music. Love and music are all about the journey. Every journey has its ups and downs, its moments of glory and its total defeats. And of course, every journey, romantic and musical, is riddled with mystery. Sometimes fingers go places they shouldn’t, and sometimes you just have to slap the bass. Let this playlist we hand selected tell the tale of romance. So put your fingers where you want to and slap that bass!

Imagine lust. That sort of burning between your legs. It purrs its little head passionately and settles in. That is how babies are made and how relationships begin. Some say it starts in the heart, but everyone knows it’s in the crotch. There is nothing wrong with a few months of carefree romping and finger play before letting love set in.

Alas, a time will come when the bed feels small and the pre-marital routine starts to feel a little too real. Eventually, it’s no longer cute the way she farts at night and it is actually kind of amazing she doesn’t wake herself up. You start to feel cramped, constricted. Why won’t she let you clip your toe nails in bed? So things turn bitter and you begin to question everything. Do I even love this bitch? Finally, when she uses the last of the toilet paper and leaves you helpless on the jon, you decide enough is enough and break up.

Dash it all, weeks go by and you can’t forget her. You keep drunk texting her random things about finger play. She never responds. So you find someone new to help fill the emptiness. But when the lights are off you imagine the one next to you is the one you lost. It becomes obessive and you start to listen to those old records you both loved. You go to eat alone at the places you went on dates. Clarity for just a second comes around the corner and inspires you to go after her again. The current situation is kind of mopey and pathetic. As you head after her, with an umbrella and wet roses, the question pulses through your head: Will she take you back?

This is the story of two lovers, torn apart when life gets in the way. Will they recognize they are meant for each other? Will they see past their petty differences and find the love they once had? Will they get back together?!?! This is the Sandwich Funk Love Story. You will have to listen to find out. O yea, there’s a soup in here too, it’s pretty delicious. Without further ado, pull your lover close, fire up the speakers, and let love run its course.

Lentil soup for Lovers

~1/2 cup olive oil
3/4 lb spicy italian sausage out of the casing
1 medium onion diced
4 carrots cut into soup sized pieces
4 celery stalks cut into soup sized pieces
4 cloves garlic, sliced
red pepper flakes to taste
1 cup brown lentils
2 bay leaves
1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes
6 cups water (maybe a little more)
~4 cups chopped kale
parmesan cheese for garnish
salt ‘n peppa

Go ahead and heat about 1/4 of olive oil in a big ass pot (big enough to hold everything at the end of this). Then add the sausage. I like to break apart the sausage with my fingers when adding it so it cooks evenly and faster.

When its almost fully cooked (~5 minutes) add the onion, celery, carrots, 2 cloves of garlic, as many red pepper flakes as you want, onion, and some salt. Cook with all that in there for another 5.

Then add the lentils, bay leaves, tomatoes and water. Add some salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 40 minutes until the lentils are tender. (We were supposed to sort our lentils, but simply the idea of sorting lentils basically made me want to cut myself so we just kept on living our lives, they still tasted like lentils).

Next, add the kale and cook for a little longer, like 5-10 depending on your lazy/forgetfulness.

In the meantime, heat the rest of the olive oil in a pan and throw the rest of the garlic in there infusing that garlicy goodness all up in there. Spoon the soup into some bowls, garnish with your garlic oil concoction and a little parmesan. We had ours with roasted potatoes and some grilled french bread. On the true-true, this soup is boner jams ’13. Enjoy it together, as lovers, or alone rejected and hurt.

Recipe adapted from Smitten Kitchen.

  • fancyfunk

    Well said… Well said.