Spicy Lentil, Kale, Sausage Soup for Lovers

About the music: Valentine’s Day. Today is the day we eat stale heart shaped candies and grin over their delightful musings. Those of us who support this hallmark holiday dress flowers and chocolates in bows because we can and it is all in the name of love. But here at Sandwich Funk we know that love is more than just a nice card or Valentine’s Day sex-as is tradition. We knew we would be doing a disservice to you all if we didn’t throw a little music and a story into the blender of love.

We are a bunch of romantics over here and put love in terms of music. Love and music are all about the journey. Every journey has its ups and downs, its moments of glory and its total defeats. And of course, every journey, romantic and musical, is riddled with mystery. Sometimes fingers go places they shouldn’t, and sometimes you just have to slap the bass. Let this playlist we hand selected tell the tale of romance. So put your fingers where you want to and slap that bass!

Imagine lust. That sort of burning between your legs. It purrs its little head passionately and settles in. That is how babies are made and how relationships begin. Some say it starts in the heart, but everyone knows it’s in the crotch. There is nothing wrong with a few months of carefree romping and finger play before letting love set in.

Alas, a time will come when the bed feels small and the pre-marital routine starts to feel a little too real. Eventually, it’s no longer cute the way she farts at night and it is actually kind of amazing she doesn’t wake herself up. You start to feel cramped, constricted. Why won’t she let you clip your toe nails in bed? So things turn bitter and you begin to question everything. Do I even love this bitch? Finally, when she uses the last of the toilet paper and leaves you helpless on the jon, you decide enough is enough and break up.

Dash it all, weeks go by and you can’t forget her. You keep drunk texting her random things about finger play. She never responds. So you find someone new to help fill the emptiness. But when the lights are off you imagine the one next to you is the one you lost. It becomes obessive and you start to listen to those old records you both loved. You go to eat alone at the places you went on dates. Clarity for just a second comes around the corner and inspires you to go after her again. The current situation is kind of mopey and pathetic. As you head after her, with an umbrella and wet roses, the question pulses through your head: Will she take you back?

This is the story of two lovers, torn apart when life gets in the way. Will they recognize they are meant for each other? Will they see past their petty differences and find the love they once had? Will they get back together?!?! This is the Sandwich Funk Love Story. You will have to listen to find out. O yea, there’s a soup in here too, it’s pretty delicious. Without further ado, pull your lover close, fire up the speakers, and let love run its course.

Lentil soup for Lovers

~1/2 cup olive oil
3/4 lb spicy italian sausage out of the casing
1 medium onion diced
4 carrots cut into soup sized pieces
4 celery stalks cut into soup sized pieces
4 cloves garlic, sliced
red pepper flakes to taste
1 cup brown lentils
2 bay leaves
1 28-oz can crushed tomatoes
6 cups water (maybe a little more)
~4 cups chopped kale
parmesan cheese for garnish
salt ‘n peppa

Go ahead and heat about 1/4 of olive oil in a big ass pot (big enough to hold everything at the end of this). Then add the sausage. I like to break apart the sausage with my fingers when adding it so it cooks evenly and faster.

When its almost fully cooked (~5 minutes) add the onion, celery, carrots, 2 cloves of garlic, as many red pepper flakes as you want, onion, and some salt. Cook with all that in there for another 5.

Then add the lentils, bay leaves, tomatoes and water. Add some salt and pepper to taste. Bring to a simmer and cook for about 40 minutes until the lentils are tender. (We were supposed to sort our lentils, but simply the idea of sorting lentils basically made me want to cut myself so we just kept on living our lives, they still tasted like lentils).

Next, add the kale and cook for a little longer, like 5-10 depending on your lazy/forgetfulness.

In the meantime, heat the rest of the olive oil in a pan and throw the rest of the garlic in there infusing that garlicy goodness all up in there. Spoon the soup into some bowls, garnish with your garlic oil concoction and a little parmesan. We had ours with roasted potatoes and some grilled french bread. On the true-true, this soup is boner jams ’13. Enjoy it together, as lovers, or alone rejected and hurt.

Recipe adapted from Smitten Kitchen.

Brussel Sprout Brie Bruschetta

About the music: It’s Monday and you probably have a job, which we hope you successfully neglected this weekend. Alas, the time has come to buckle down at that nine to five and work, work, work. Here at sfunk we know the cure to a melancholy week is in the details. So trust us when we say this delicious brussel sprout dish doesn’t miss a beat. Brussel sprouts are kinda like roller coasters, you have to be a certain age to enjoy the ride. In an attempt to stay in key with our tune (tasty treats, funky beats), we made this dish so delicious that even rugrats would want a bite. Let it be known, we do suggest that this meal be accompanied with whisky, friends and wiggle room for optional clothing. Just because we can we paired an extra long playlist for this happy hour orderve recipe. On the mix, we’ve got Ms. Sharon Jones, former prison guard turned into funk soul goddess, then our favorite horny hipsters from Brooklyn The Menehan Street Band. Complemented by a sh!tload of groovy tunes from jazz master Grant Green, Aaron Neville, the Meters and other funk soul brothers that’ll bring a smile to your face. Ladys and gents take this week by the brucshetta and may the brussels be with you.

Serves: 8-10
Prep Time: 35 minutes
Total groove time: 1 hour


1 1/2 lbs brussel sprouts trimmed, peeled and quartered
1 clove garlic, chopped
1/2 onion chopped
1+ baguette
balsamic vinegar
olive oil
salt ‘n peppa
delicious brie

Chop up all things that are good; onions, brussels garlic, baguette. Stop and appreciate the smooth horns whispering funky nothings in your eardrums.

Heat some olive oil in a heavy skillet and toss the brussels in, spreading around so that all of them are touching the hot surface. Cook for about 5-7 minutes like that adding salt and pepper to taste. Then add the onion and cook for another 5 minutes. Last, add the garlic and cook for another 1-2 minutes. The brussels should be browning on the sides.

While that is happening slice the baguette and arrange on a baking sheet. Broil the bread until it starts to toast and take out. Spread the brie on each piece of bread and put back in the broiler for about 30 more seconds until the cheese melts. At this point Aaron Neville should be prepping any romantic company you have for the storm ahead.

Top the cheesy bread with the brussel mix and arrange on a swanky looking serving tray. Top it with some salt and pepper and a little balsamic vinegar, and impress your friends with your knowledge of obscure jazz funk.


Pickin’ On Pot Pie

This Recipe was created and cooked by the Lovely Karensa Newman of FancyFunk so make sure to give her some love.

About the music: Chicken Pot Pie is a comfort dish, no question about it. In an attempt to branch our genre roots a little further out into the world we thought that some nice bluegrass would go well with this dish. Bluegrass is the kind of music that makes you want to be dancing around a campfire with your friends. Its the kind of music that makes you wish you had a piece of straw to chew on while buttoning up your overalls. Its the kind of music that makes you want to cook chicken pot pie. We have included some classics and some songs you probably have never heard of. There are bands that reside in Colorado (yonder Mountain String Band) and some all the way out in New Jersey (Railroad Earth). But the thing about bluegrass is where you come from doesn’t matter as long as you can play a mean banjo. Enjoy.


Serves: 8
Prep Time:

Ingredients for Buttermilk Biscuits:
1 ½ cups all purpose flour
1 ½ cups whole wheat pastry flour
3 tsp baking powder
¾ tsp baking soda
1 ½ tsp sugar
¾ tsp salt
6 tbsp unsalted butter, cut into ¼ inch cubes
1 ¼ cup buttermilk (can add more if dough is dry—add a tbsp at a time)

Directions for Biscuits:
Combine flour, baking powder, baking soda, salt and sugar in a large bowl. With two eating knives cut the butter into the dry ingredients. You will be left with some larger butter clumps but try and cut these with the knife.

Pour buttermilk into dry mixture and mix with a fork or your hands. Here is where you add more buttermilk (1 T at a time) if the dough is too dry—don’t worry you will know

Clean a space on your counter and make sure it is clean! Flour the newly cleaned surface and roll the dough together into a ball with floured hands. Roll the dough out to a ¾ inch thickness and cut out shapes with a variety of Christmas cookie cutters.

Transfer biscuits to a parchment-lines baking sheet and chill for as long as you can.


Ingredients for Chicken Pot Pie Filling:
3 tbsp vegetable oil
2 large onion, chopped
6 medium carrots, peeled and diced
4 celery stalks, diced
Salt and pepper
8 tbsp butter
1 cup flour
3 cups milk (I used 2%)
4 ¾ cups low-sodium chicken broth
1 tsp fresh thyme
6 tbsp dry sherry
6-7 cups chicken, cooked and shredded
1 ½ cups peas (I used frozen peas)
6 tbsp minced fresh parsley

Directions for filling:
Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.

Heat a large pot over medium/high heat and then add oil. Sauté onions, carrots and celery until tender. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Transfer cooked vegetables to a bowl with the cooked and shredded chicken; set aside

Reduce heat to medium and add butter. When melted, add flour, stirring constantly for 1 minute. Whisk milk, chicken broth, and thyme. Allow sauce to come to a simmer and let it thicken for 2 minutes. Add Sherry and season with salt and pepper.

Turn off heat and transfer vegetables/chicken mixture to pot, stirring until ingredients are combined. Add peas and parsley. If filling is too thick (you’ll know), stir in extra chicken broth, about 1/4 cup at a time.

Poor filling into a 12×16 inch baking dish and bake for 20 minutes. Top fillings with uncooked homemade biscuits. Bake for an additional 12 minutes or until biscuits are golden brown and filling is bubbling. Cool for 5 minutes before serving.

  • jeff

    Bring it on. STAT.