Open Face Goat Cheese sandwich W/ Funk Relish

About the music: This is a daytime dish through and through. It should be made with windows and doors open, and god help me if I’m gonna have a window open and not be blasting the funk out of it. Funk, all day erry day. Thats what we are coming at you with for this recipe. What lies before you is 30 minutes of pure unadulterated funkomania, and you’re invited. Consider yourself lucky. Prison guard turned funk diva Sharon Jones starts you off with an awesome rendition of Just Dropped In. From there it’s a dance party from start to finish. Songs from folks you have most certainly never heard of, but that doesn’t make them any less funky. And some songs from people you have heard of like the Meters and Al Green. If people come in off the street asking what the funky sex sounds emanating from your house are, just say you could tell them but you’d have to kill them. Relish in the funk.

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Serves: 2
Prep time: 30 minutes

Ingredients:
4 slices good brown bread (we got a half a loaf of Seeeded Seeduction from Whole Foods)
4-6 ounces goat cheese (Bonne Bouche from Vermont Creamery, dank)
Arugula and/or spinach for topping
Honey
Chives

For the relish:
1-3 cup dried currants
1-3 cup toasted pine nuts
1-4 cup finely chopped red onion
Balsamic vinegar to taste
salt ‘n pepa to taste

Directions:
This recipe is really pretty full-proof. Super simple and it is honestly one of the most incredible sandwiches you can make. I cite this sandwich as the sole contributor to my past 2 successful sexual encounters. Put on this playlist with it and you will literately be fighting babes off of you.

Hit play and let Sharon get the party going. Pick a spatula that works the best as a microphone, and let’s cut some shit. Chop your onion and throw it in a bowl. Chop up the currants a little and throw ‘em in the same bowl. Toast your pine nuts and throw them on in there. At this point Funkaledic already has, or is currently funking up the whole kitchen. We didn’t, but if you wanted to add dried figs to this that would be cool, I guess. Add the balsamic and the salt and pepper to taste and set aside.

Turn on the broiler to high, I’m talkin’ like Fire on the Bayou high. Slice your bread and throw it in the toaster. I have found the if I just try and broil the bread with the cheese on it without toasting it, it does not reach my desired level of awesome. Now slice you goat cheese at about a centimeter thick. Lay a bed of arugula on the toasted bread and then put the sliced goat cheese on top. Put in the broiler until the cheese is melted and/or starting to brown on top. There is no real set time for this, you just have to watch it. Funk out to some Mighty Hannibal while you wait

Take the sammy out of the broiler and top with the relish. Then squeeze some honey over the top of the sandwich. The reason I put rehab as the last song of the playlist is, well, I’m not suggesting you can be addicted to a sandwich, but maybe…

Lo-Fi Fish Tacos

This is Kristen Redd of the infamously idle FancyFunk blog—aka, big sis to Tyler of Sandwich Funk and his inspiration of all things that are good—and I’m here to enlighten you with a tasty little number that will have its consumers begging for more… water.

*disclaimer: FancyFunk and its subsidiaries are not responsible for any discomforting trips to the bathroom that may result from consuming this meal.

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So you’ve just returned from a long day of work, and perhaps an exhausting round of Spikeball, and you’re f-ing starving for some grub. Your cash flow is low, so dining out is not in the mix, and the idea of going to the grocery store is enough to make you want to want smoke your entire supply of indica and go into hibernation. ‘What do I have in my pantry that doesn’t consist of packaged nonsense that I have to throw an egg on top of?’ you ask yourself.

The answer, my friends, is all the ingredients to this low-prep, quick-cook, highly adaptable recipe. I’ve used just about any form of life that comes out of the sea, whatever unused spices and herbs happen to be crying for attention, and a wide variety of toppings that my ravenous taste buds may be demanding at the given moment. Here is one possible version of the afore-mentioned mash-up, but feel free to substitute just about anything with whatever you have on hand.

About the music: I know what you are thinking. Fish tacos and lo-fi rock ‘n roll don’t really seem like an intuitive pairing. Well, that’s why you are reading this post and we created it, so deal with it! We have paired 10 tracks with this fish dish guaranteed to keep your fingers head bangin’. Jack White and the gang start you off easy with ‘Level’ and from there things really start to pick up. 40 minutes of grungy filtered vocals, wailing guitar and doods that probably smell like a homeless person, but hey, they make awesome music. While we did not necessarily stick to one genre with this playlist, I think you will find a common theme running through the whole experience. Half nostalgia for some olds hits, half keen interest in some songs you have never heard, and half fish taco, this playlist is 150% about to rock. Now let’s cook some Mexican sandwiches.

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For the tacos:
• 2-4 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1 (or 4) garlic cloves, minced
• ½ tsp. red pepper flakes
• 1.5 lbs. tilapia (I usually stock in the freezer, but if using shrimp instead, be sure to remove the poop-chute)
• possibly some thinly sliced onions or bell pepper if you’re into that sort of thing
• 3 Tbsp. high quality tequila
• 1-2 tsp. dried chipotle powder
• 1 tsp. ground cumin
• sea salt
• corn or flour tortillas (quantity varies depending on the size and number of boys you are feeding)

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For the black beans:
• 1 can unflavored black beans (do not drain!)
• 1+ Tbsp. olive oil
• ¼ small yellow onion, chopped
• 1-3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 Tbsp. ground cumin
• 2 tsp.+ red pepper flakes
Ideas for toppings:
• fresh chopped cilantro
• diced tomatoes
• fresh greens (I’m talking about the salad variety here)
• mango and/or pineapple salso
• sour cream (try whipping it up with some cumin, lime, salt & cilantro)
• cheese (only as last resort)

Directions:
Before I begin I must state the obvious—thaw your fish ahead of time, and if you’re like my brother and don’t think ahead of time, speed the process in a sink of hot water. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees so you’re not left at the end with a deliciously piping hot taco stuffing and cold, stale tortillas you’ve had in the back of your fridge for god knows how many weeks. Designate your minions to chop, dice, and measure out all your ingredients so you can focus on the more important tasks at hand.

Start with the beans, since these can sit and sizzle and marinate in their own calienté glory for as long as you’d like. Heat the oil on medium-high in a small pot. Add the chopped onion and garlic and stick your nose in it for a minute or two to enjoy that heady scent. Toss in the beans, cumin and red pepper flakes and mix it all up like Falcon Punch at an evening with Denver Disco. Once your concoction is bubbling, reduce the heat to low and forget about it for a little while.

Meanwhile, your friends, guests, siblings and significant others will have laid out a nicely organized array of foods for your next mission. Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat (unless you’re a communist and don’t enjoy a nicely browned exterior to your fish). Once again, enjoy the aroma of cooking garlic, but not for too long, as this pan is HOT! Add the cumin, pepper flakes, and whatever spices you’re using and blend them together in the small sea of oil.

Ask a minion to put the tortillas in the oven and stand watch so they don’t burn and take them out before they turn into a giant crunchy chip.

Season your Tilapia with some salt and chipotle, and take satisfaction in the sizzling and smoking bursts emanating from the pan as you toss them in (careful… they spit). Note: if using onion/pepper slices, you may want to sauté separately, but if not, throw those in first, scooting them to the sides before adding your seafood of choice. Toss back… I mean IN… the tequila, and give it a good swish-around.

Flip the filets after a couple of minutes, reduce heat to medium and cook a couple more. At this point, those puppies should start to crumble and fall apart like Tyler giving a speech at a wedding—this is your cue to use that spatula to assist the process until the consistency is something you want to see on your tortilla.

Well, that’s about it folks. Arrange your foodstuffs in any order you see fit with any toppings that speak to you, and remember, if you overdo it on the hot pepper, your mouth won’t be the only body part burning in the wake of consumption!

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Chart-Topping Chivito

About the music Well, aside from this being our first post after a long and fruitful summer vacation spent jumping off cliffs, battling sharkbeasts, crashing drones, and generally living the dream, it also happens to be our 50th post. To commemorate this momentous occasion we decided to do something a little different and bring you a sandwich set to funk music. It doesn’t actually take an hour to assemble this sandwich, but between boiling eggs making chimichurri sauce and funking your face off, ya know, things could take a little longer than expected. Fear not however, we have assembled for you 1 hour of some the finest funk tunes old and new. Jocelyn Brown starts you off with a tune that I think most everybody will be able to relate to. We’ve got Luther Vandross and the boys in Change, and then Climax Blues Band taking you through the middle with their catchy tune ‘Couldn’t Get it Right.’ We finish off with The Jaubert Singers and their absolute jam ‘Stand on the World.’  This song will literally make you want to  stand on top of things and funk out so be careful.

This playlist is unstoppable, it’s infectious. Between the sound and the smell people are going to start coming off the street and asking for coach-check, a PBR and a table close enough to see the stage. Hit play, and let’s make some fucking sandwiches.

Cook time: 45 minutes
Serves: 4

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Ingredients:
~1 pound good meat (we used boneless ribeye)
1/2 tbsp chile powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
mayonnaise
6-8… 12 slices of bacon
2 hard boiled eggs
1/2 onion, sliced
2 tomatoes, sliced
1 red pepper, roasted, seeded, sliced
6 ounces black olives, sliced
your choice of lettuce
Bread or roll of your choice (we used brioche rolls, they were… dense)

Chimichurri Sauce: (we used this one, it was quite dank)
1 cup firmly packed fresh flat-leaf parsley, trimmed of thick stems
3-4 garlic cloves
2 Tbsps fresh oregano leaves (can sub 2 teaspoons dried oregano)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp red or white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
4 slices mozzarella

Directions
You may be thinking to yourself, “How in the shit am I about to put all of this stuff into a sandwich?” Don’t worry, its a natural reaction, it’s just you being super lame. Go ahead and stop that, grab your balls and remember that when you make a sandwich, you make it like a goddamn man. Let’s carry on.

This here is a Chivito. Coming to you all the way from the hills of Uruguay, it essentially stacks all of your favorite things on top of one another and asks you nicely to put it in your mouth. Please abide.

As you turn on the soundtrack and listen to Ms. Brown belt out this funky jam, you should be doing two things: 1) Combining the chile powder, garlic powder and smoked paprika in a small bowl, and 2) Thinking about how awesome you are. Now rub down your steak with this concoction like you would an old person with coconut oil. That is to say, with passion and vigor.

Per usual, I like to get menial tasks out of the way first so if you haven’t already, hard boil your eggs, slice your onion, make your chimichurri (if you’re into that kinda thing), slice your olives and tomatoes.

Next, and I like to devote a whole paragraph to this task, you’re going to want to fry your bacon.

Coat the pepper lightly in oil and and broil in the oven, turning every time it starts to turn black. About 4-5 minutes a side. When done, take out of the oven and put it in a bowl covered with Saran Wrap for 15 minutes.  It sweats the pepper like a hairy dude in a turkish bath, making it easier to peel the skin off.

Next, sautée the onions in some olive oil until caramelized. Feel free to use the bacon pan, we did.

While that is happening you’re going to need to turn on the grill and prep the meats.  We bought a very thin ribeye because we are lazy, so cooking ours only took like 2-3 minutes a side.  But if you’re a badass and buy a thick ass steak then you are obviously going to need to give yourself more time. Grill your buns too because it’s sandwich assembling time.

OK, so you can do this anyway you want, it’s your sandwich, but I’m about to tell you how to do this because true sandwich eater will tell you that poor structural integrity is the #1 sign of a n00b sandwich. Here it goes: Grilled bun, mayo, steak, bacon, onion, STOP. Add the cheese, put the sammy in the broiler until cheese melts, continue. Add the pepper, olives, tomatoes, chimichurri, eggs and lettuce.

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  • dk

    This is epic. Keep up the good work.