The Humdinger

About the music:
I have full faith that you will grow to love this sandwich even more than you love that one chick that you follow on Instagram just because she’s hot and you don’t know her that well so it’s kind of awkward but you don’t really care because she’s hot. In that sense, this sandwich is basically a classic. So we are bringing the sultry hits, hippy undertones, with some nice notes of blues, and a rock ‘n roll finish. If you don’t like this playlist, I mean I don’t want to name names but you’re a communist.

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Serves: 2
Cook Time: 20 minutes

Ingredients:
1 tomato, sliced
Hummus of your choosing
1 red onion, sliced
1 avocado, sliced
4 slices Monterey Jack cheese
Rosemary sourdough bread
A shitload of pepperoncini
Hot sauce of your choosing

There ain’t all that much to this sammy, and that, my friends, is why it’s constantly placed high in my sandwich rotation. 100% vegged out so you can pretend like your being good to your body, and it’s just a classic, as the music would imply.

I mean, it’s your sandwich so basically you can do this however you want, but here’s what we did:

Toast your bread.

Put all this heady shit on the toasted bread, except the cheese.

Put on the cheese.

Put it in the broiler.

Hot sauce it up right.

Munch on it. Enjoy the vegetables of your labor and rock out to the rest of this playlist.

Miso Broccoli Sweet Potato Bowl

 About the Music: We are back in action ladies and gents, and we are here to stay, probably.  You might think we would want to come back with a playlist that’s all about the party, maybe some disco cuts and classic funk grooves.  But, dear reader, it is the winter time here in Boulder Colorado and its cold and dark.  The music we chose for this playlist fits that vibe in that it says I’m dark and emotional but not totally emo. You like to write in your journal but you’re not necessarily on a pure Zoloft diet. There is an ethereal theme that runs through the playlist held together by wispy male vocals, guitar leads, melodic piano stabs and an electronic drum beat.  We start you off in the indie range with a couple great bands that have come out with new material in the last year and then move into a more electronic middle section, great for sipping your favorite bevy and holding your girl/guy by the fire.  Just as you are slipping into a wintery slumber we pick you back up again and move into the last section filled with great guitar rifts and a generally uplifting vibe, finishing with Broken Bells new single Holding on for Life that is guaranteed to have you tapping your feet while you take down this miso bowl.

Serves: 4
Total Cook Time: 45 min

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Ingredients for Bowl:
1.5 cups dries rice (we used jasmine because we are boring)
2 sweet potatoes
1-2 heads broccoli
1 tsp sesame seeds
any other veggies you find interesting
coarse or kosher salt
1-2 tbsp olive oil

Ingredients for Miso Dressing:
2 tbsp minces fresh ginger
1 small garlic clove, minced
2 tablespoons white miso paste
1 tablespoon honey
2 tablespoons tahini
1/4 cup rice vinegar
2 tablespoons olive oil
2 tablespoons toasted sesame oil

This is my standard disclaimer that we did not come up with this recipe because, well, we simply aren’t creative enough to come up with such a delightful feast of perfection.  The best we could do was provide the music, so deal with it.  If you want the original recipe find it your god damn self. Nah, jk, here it is.

Directions: Go ahead and hit play on this Jim James song and let the ethereal male vocals wash through you.  This song is basically a lullaby, but don’t fall asleep we have shit to do.  Preheat your oven to 400 and get your rice cooking in whatever method you prefer.

Peel your sweet potatoes and cut them into one inch cubes and then cut your broccoli into bite size florets. Coat a roasting pan with a thin bit of olive oil and lay the sweet potatoes down so they aren’t on top of each other, but rather are… tessellating. Sprinkle with salt ‘n peppa and roast for 20 minutes.  After a cool 20 spot take them out flip them over and add the pieces of broccoli. Again with the salt and pepper and back into the oven for another 10-20 or until broccoli begins to char and potatoes are soft.

You may be asking yourself, “what the F am I supposed to do with myself for 40 minutes while this is roasting?” Well, aside from just sitting in awe of the sheer greatness and fortitude of this playlist, you still have to make the miso dressing.  Let’s make that happen.

Toast your sesame seeds in a skillet just to get that out of the way because that’s boring an uninteresting. Pay attention because this gets complicated. Put all the dressing ingredients in a food processor and blend that shit right on up. Other than that all you have to do is make sure your picture frames don’t fall of the wall due to the bass from this James Blake song and you should be good to go. If you finish early just go ahead and pour yourself a tasty bevarage, I’m thinking a gin and tonic-with a lime of course-and kick back for the remainder of this playlist.

When everything is done scoop yourself a bit of rice then put the broccoli and and potatoes on top.  Add the dressing and the sesame seeds and boom, you got yourself a miso bowl.  But for real, this dressing is so good you are going to want to put it on everything.

Godspeed

Indie Roasted Chickpeas & Carrots feat. Harissa

About the Music: Listen, I love the funk as much as the next guy.  But sometimes you just do something a little more… alternative.  So for this fall dish we decided to put away the dancing shoes and get out the acoustic guitar. Hold on to your hearts ladies and gentlemen, because shit is about to get emotional.  We’ve got notoriously light hearted singer songwriter Elliott Smith in here for you. Some Blitzen Trapper, also from Oregon.  Jeff Mangum and Neutral Milk Hotel sing longingly about a topic that isn’t Jeeeeeesssuuuuussss Chrriiiiiiiiiiiiiist and The Shins take us into the second half of our mix with a track about god knows what. Lastly, we round off this playlist with Norah Jones and The Little Willies’ cover of Jolene, a timeless classic to close out this half hour of sheer emotion. Reaching for the Kleenex already? Don’t worry, we’re one step ahead of you there.

Serves: 4
Prep Time: 35 min

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Ingredients:
1/4 cup olive oil
8-10 carrots
1 cup chickpeas (canned is quicker, dried is better)
2 cloves garlic
2 tbsp harissa
1 tsp salt
1 tsp pepper
1 tbsp chopped parsley

First of all this recipe was made first, and probably better by Claire Thomas over at The Kitchy Kitchen so give her some props. Yea, I follow Kitchy Kitchen, wanna fight about it? I will say however that she does not have emotional alt rock playing while her carrots are roasting, so I got that going for me. Or maybe she does… the point is that you will never know.

Directions: I’m not really sure why we chose indie rock for this recipe but just go with it.  We think it works.  This recipe is easy and painless, giving you plenty of time to brood over the barista that forgot to put almond milk in your double machiato at your local used books and ironic leggings store.

Go ahead press play and preheat your oven to 425.

Peel your carrots and cut them into whatever shape most pleases you, I’m not into labels. If you are using canned chickpeas rinse them with cold water in a colander then lay them onto a paper towel and dry them off completely.

Grab a bowl, inside this bowl you will be mixing together some things.  These things include but are not limited to the harissa, garlic, olive oil, salt and pepper. Mix that all up and then add the carrots and chickpeas making sure to coat all up in that ‘ish.

Put the aforementioned carrot mixture on a rimmed baking dish and spread it out so nothing is touching.  Slide it on in to the oven for 15.  Kick it. Perhaps In the Aeroplane Over the Sea is at full volume and you are literally on your knees weeping in the corner. Embrace it.

Flip the carrots. You’re going to say that flipping carrots and chickpeas is relatively challenging.  It’s damn near impossible. I don’t know just shake it up a little and throw it back in the oven for another 15, it should be good to go.

Take it out of the oven sprinkle some of your chopped parsley on there. We had this dish with our spicy peanut chicken recipe. Was dank.

Enjoy

 

Lo-Fi Fish Tacos

This is Kristen Redd of the infamously idle FancyFunk blog—aka, big sis to Tyler of Sandwich Funk and his inspiration of all things that are good—and I’m here to enlighten you with a tasty little number that will have its consumers begging for more… water.

*disclaimer: FancyFunk and its subsidiaries are not responsible for any discomforting trips to the bathroom that may result from consuming this meal.

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So you’ve just returned from a long day of work, and perhaps an exhausting round of Spikeball, and you’re f-ing starving for some grub. Your cash flow is low, so dining out is not in the mix, and the idea of going to the grocery store is enough to make you want to want smoke your entire supply of indica and go into hibernation. ‘What do I have in my pantry that doesn’t consist of packaged nonsense that I have to throw an egg on top of?’ you ask yourself.

The answer, my friends, is all the ingredients to this low-prep, quick-cook, highly adaptable recipe. I’ve used just about any form of life that comes out of the sea, whatever unused spices and herbs happen to be crying for attention, and a wide variety of toppings that my ravenous taste buds may be demanding at the given moment. Here is one possible version of the afore-mentioned mash-up, but feel free to substitute just about anything with whatever you have on hand.

About the music: I know what you are thinking. Fish tacos and lo-fi rock ‘n roll don’t really seem like an intuitive pairing. Well, that’s why you are reading this post and we created it, so deal with it! We have paired 10 tracks with this fish dish guaranteed to keep your fingers head bangin’. Jack White and the gang start you off easy with ‘Level’ and from there things really start to pick up. 40 minutes of grungy filtered vocals, wailing guitar and doods that probably smell like a homeless person, but hey, they make awesome music. While we did not necessarily stick to one genre with this playlist, I think you will find a common theme running through the whole experience. Half nostalgia for some olds hits, half keen interest in some songs you have never heard, and half fish taco, this playlist is 150% about to rock. Now let’s cook some Mexican sandwiches.

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For the tacos:
• 2-4 Tbsp. olive oil
• 1 (or 4) garlic cloves, minced
• ½ tsp. red pepper flakes
• 1.5 lbs. tilapia (I usually stock in the freezer, but if using shrimp instead, be sure to remove the poop-chute)
• possibly some thinly sliced onions or bell pepper if you’re into that sort of thing
• 3 Tbsp. high quality tequila
• 1-2 tsp. dried chipotle powder
• 1 tsp. ground cumin
• sea salt
• corn or flour tortillas (quantity varies depending on the size and number of boys you are feeding)

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For the black beans:
• 1 can unflavored black beans (do not drain!)
• 1+ Tbsp. olive oil
• ¼ small yellow onion, chopped
• 1-3 garlic cloves, minced
• 1 Tbsp. ground cumin
• 2 tsp.+ red pepper flakes
Ideas for toppings:
• fresh chopped cilantro
• diced tomatoes
• fresh greens (I’m talking about the salad variety here)
• mango and/or pineapple salso
• sour cream (try whipping it up with some cumin, lime, salt & cilantro)
• cheese (only as last resort)

Directions:
Before I begin I must state the obvious—thaw your fish ahead of time, and if you’re like my brother and don’t think ahead of time, speed the process in a sink of hot water. Preheat the oven to 350 degrees so you’re not left at the end with a deliciously piping hot taco stuffing and cold, stale tortillas you’ve had in the back of your fridge for god knows how many weeks. Designate your minions to chop, dice, and measure out all your ingredients so you can focus on the more important tasks at hand.

Start with the beans, since these can sit and sizzle and marinate in their own calienté glory for as long as you’d like. Heat the oil on medium-high in a small pot. Add the chopped onion and garlic and stick your nose in it for a minute or two to enjoy that heady scent. Toss in the beans, cumin and red pepper flakes and mix it all up like Falcon Punch at an evening with Denver Disco. Once your concoction is bubbling, reduce the heat to low and forget about it for a little while.

Meanwhile, your friends, guests, siblings and significant others will have laid out a nicely organized array of foods for your next mission. Heat the oil in a large skillet over high heat (unless you’re a communist and don’t enjoy a nicely browned exterior to your fish). Once again, enjoy the aroma of cooking garlic, but not for too long, as this pan is HOT! Add the cumin, pepper flakes, and whatever spices you’re using and blend them together in the small sea of oil.

Ask a minion to put the tortillas in the oven and stand watch so they don’t burn and take them out before they turn into a giant crunchy chip.

Season your Tilapia with some salt and chipotle, and take satisfaction in the sizzling and smoking bursts emanating from the pan as you toss them in (careful… they spit). Note: if using onion/pepper slices, you may want to sauté separately, but if not, throw those in first, scooting them to the sides before adding your seafood of choice. Toss back… I mean IN… the tequila, and give it a good swish-around.

Flip the filets after a couple of minutes, reduce heat to medium and cook a couple more. At this point, those puppies should start to crumble and fall apart like Tyler giving a speech at a wedding—this is your cue to use that spatula to assist the process until the consistency is something you want to see on your tortilla.

Well, that’s about it folks. Arrange your foodstuffs in any order you see fit with any toppings that speak to you, and remember, if you overdo it on the hot pepper, your mouth won’t be the only body part burning in the wake of consumption!

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Chart-Topping Chivito

About the music Well, aside from this being our first post after a long and fruitful summer vacation spent jumping off cliffs, battling sharkbeasts, crashing drones, and generally living the dream, it also happens to be our 50th post. To commemorate this momentous occasion we decided to do something a little different and bring you a sandwich set to funk music. It doesn’t actually take an hour to assemble this sandwich, but between boiling eggs making chimichurri sauce and funking your face off, ya know, things could take a little longer than expected. Fear not however, we have assembled for you 1 hour of some the finest funk tunes old and new. Jocelyn Brown starts you off with a tune that I think most everybody will be able to relate to. We’ve got Luther Vandross and the boys in Change, and then Climax Blues Band taking you through the middle with their catchy tune ‘Couldn’t Get it Right.’ We finish off with The Jaubert Singers and their absolute jam ‘Stand on the World.’  This song will literally make you want to  stand on top of things and funk out so be careful.

This playlist is unstoppable, it’s infectious. Between the sound and the smell people are going to start coming off the street and asking for coach-check, a PBR and a table close enough to see the stage. Hit play, and let’s make some fucking sandwiches.

Cook time: 45 minutes
Serves: 4

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Ingredients:
~1 pound good meat (we used boneless ribeye)
1/2 tbsp chile powder
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp smoked paprika
1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil
mayonnaise
6-8… 12 slices of bacon
2 hard boiled eggs
1/2 onion, sliced
2 tomatoes, sliced
1 red pepper, roasted, seeded, sliced
6 ounces black olives, sliced
your choice of lettuce
Bread or roll of your choice (we used brioche rolls, they were… dense)

Chimichurri Sauce: (we used this one, it was quite dank)
1 cup firmly packed fresh flat-leaf parsley, trimmed of thick stems
3-4 garlic cloves
2 Tbsps fresh oregano leaves (can sub 2 teaspoons dried oregano)
1/2 cup olive oil
2 Tbsp red or white wine vinegar
1 teaspoon sea salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
4 slices mozzarella

Directions
You may be thinking to yourself, “How in the shit am I about to put all of this stuff into a sandwich?” Don’t worry, its a natural reaction, it’s just you being super lame. Go ahead and stop that, grab your balls and remember that when you make a sandwich, you make it like a goddamn man. Let’s carry on.

This here is a Chivito. Coming to you all the way from the hills of Uruguay, it essentially stacks all of your favorite things on top of one another and asks you nicely to put it in your mouth. Please abide.

As you turn on the soundtrack and listen to Ms. Brown belt out this funky jam, you should be doing two things: 1) Combining the chile powder, garlic powder and smoked paprika in a small bowl, and 2) Thinking about how awesome you are. Now rub down your steak with this concoction like you would an old person with coconut oil. That is to say, with passion and vigor.

Per usual, I like to get menial tasks out of the way first so if you haven’t already, hard boil your eggs, slice your onion, make your chimichurri (if you’re into that kinda thing), slice your olives and tomatoes.

Next, and I like to devote a whole paragraph to this task, you’re going to want to fry your bacon.

Coat the pepper lightly in oil and and broil in the oven, turning every time it starts to turn black. About 4-5 minutes a side. When done, take out of the oven and put it in a bowl covered with Saran Wrap for 15 minutes.  It sweats the pepper like a hairy dude in a turkish bath, making it easier to peel the skin off.

Next, sautée the onions in some olive oil until caramelized. Feel free to use the bacon pan, we did.

While that is happening you’re going to need to turn on the grill and prep the meats.  We bought a very thin ribeye because we are lazy, so cooking ours only took like 2-3 minutes a side.  But if you’re a badass and buy a thick ass steak then you are obviously going to need to give yourself more time. Grill your buns too because it’s sandwich assembling time.

OK, so you can do this anyway you want, it’s your sandwich, but I’m about to tell you how to do this because true sandwich eater will tell you that poor structural integrity is the #1 sign of a n00b sandwich. Here it goes: Grilled bun, mayo, steak, bacon, onion, STOP. Add the cheese, put the sammy in the broiler until cheese melts, continue. Add the pepper, olives, tomatoes, chimichurri, eggs and lettuce.

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Open Face Goat Cheese sandwich W/ Funk Relish

About the music: This is a daytime dish through and through. It should be made with windows and doors open, and god help me if I’m gonna have a window open and not be blasting the funk out of it. Funk, all day erry day. Thats what we are coming at you with for this recipe. What lies before you is 30 minutes of pure unadulterated funkomania, and you’re invited. Consider yourself lucky. Prison guard turned funk diva Sharon Jones starts you off with an awesome rendition of Just Dropped In. From there it’s a dance party from start to finish. Songs from folks you have most certainly never heard of, but that doesn’t make them any less funky. And some songs from people you have heard of like the Meters and Al Green. If people come in off the street asking what the funky sex sounds emanating from your house are, just say you could tell them but you’d have to kill them. Relish in the funk.

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Serves: 2
Prep time: 30 minutes

Ingredients:
4 slices good brown bread (we got a half a loaf of Seeeded Seeduction from Whole Foods)
4-6 ounces goat cheese (Bonne Bouche from Vermont Creamery, dank)
Arugula and/or spinach for topping
Honey
Chives

For the relish:
1-3 cup dried currants
1-3 cup toasted pine nuts
1-4 cup finely chopped red onion
Balsamic vinegar to taste
salt ‘n pepa to taste

Directions:
This recipe is really pretty full-proof. Super simple and it is honestly one of the most incredible sandwiches you can make. I cite this sandwich as the sole contributor to my past 2 successful sexual encounters. Put on this playlist with it and you will literately be fighting babes off of you.

Hit play and let Sharon get the party going. Pick a spatula that works the best as a microphone, and let’s cut some shit. Chop your onion and throw it in a bowl. Chop up the currants a little and throw ‘em in the same bowl. Toast your pine nuts and throw them on in there. At this point Funkaledic already has, or is currently funking up the whole kitchen. We didn’t, but if you wanted to add dried figs to this that would be cool, I guess. Add the balsamic and the salt and pepper to taste and set aside.

Turn on the broiler to high, I’m talkin’ like Fire on the Bayou high. Slice your bread and throw it in the toaster. I have found the if I just try and broil the bread with the cheese on it without toasting it, it does not reach my desired level of awesome. Now slice you goat cheese at about a centimeter thick. Lay a bed of arugula on the toasted bread and then put the sliced goat cheese on top. Put in the broiler until the cheese is melted and/or starting to brown on top. There is no real set time for this, you just have to watch it. Funk out to some Mighty Hannibal while you wait

Take the sammy out of the broiler and top with the relish. Then squeeze some honey over the top of the sandwich. The reason I put rehab as the last song of the playlist is, well, I’m not suggesting you can be addicted to a sandwich, but maybe…

Szechuan Beef House with Untz-Fried Rice

About the music: Sometimes days are riddled with ‘ifs’, ‘metaphysical ifs,’ ‘what ifs,’ ‘as ifs’ ect… We understand this cultural if-topia is stressful so we’d like to give you a break by telling you the answer to the if-o-the-moment that is: “if this playlist keeps thumping these funky-deep-house jams how will i cook?” Just know the only thing you need to digest right are the baked french beats of Breakbots mix of Birdy Nam Nam’s – Defiant Order, and the freshly sprinkled Nigerian NNEKA , and the little british flavor from Rudimental. Don’t be overwhelmed by the what ifs brought on by Classixx and Fatboy Slim. You need to be ready for Bondax and their brimming cup of beats (a perfect zest to add to the rice), those fifty minutes are better a record length sexual encounter. Finally, plan to make some questionable decisions with Storm Queen around the meatpacking district… Stefon will likely have some suggestions – perhaps you can finish the night at UNTZ, NYC’s hottest club complete with midget fire jugglers, a special sticky wall and an assortment of undercooked shrimp…
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Serves: 4
Cook/Prep Time: 1 Hour 45 Minutes

For Fried Rice:
1/4 cup oyster sauce
1 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp peanut or vegetable oil
2 large eggs
1 cup frozen peas, thawed
2 medium garlic cloves, minced
6 cups cold cooked white rice
1 cup bean sprouts 5 medium scallions, sliced thin

For Stir Fry:
6 cloves garlic
1 tbsp minced ginger
4 scallions, whites minced, greens cut to 1/2 inch
1/2 tsp Sichuan peppercorns, ground
3 tbsp soy sauce
3 tbsp rice/balsamic vinegar
2 tbsp sherry
2 tsp hot bean paste
1-1/2 tsp sugar
1 tsp cornstarch
2 cups broccoli florets
Salt to taste
1-1/2 tbsp canola oil
3 dried hot red chilis
1.5 lbs flank steak sliced thin

First, chef up some rice (2-3 cups though the link says 1) and let it cool on a baking dish with tin foil for about an hour.

Combine the oyster sauce and soy sauce in a small bowl; set side. Heat a 12-inch non-stick skillet over medium heat until hot; add 1-1/2 teaspoon of the oil and swirl to coat the pan bottom. Add the eggs and cook without stirring, until they just begin to set, about 20 seconds, then scramble and break into small pieces with a wooden spoon; continue to cook stirring constantly, until the eggs are cook through but not browned, about 1 minute longer. Transfer the eggs to a small bowl and set aside.

Return the skillet to the burner, increase the heat to high, and heat the skillet until hot; add the remaining 2-1/2 tablespoons oil and swirl to coat the pan bottom. Add the peas and cook, stirring constantly, for 30 seconds; stir in the garlic and cook until fragrant, about 30 seconds. Add the rice and oyster sauce mixture; cook, stirring constantly and breaking up rice clumps, until the mixture is heated through, about 3 minutes. Add the eggs, bean sprouts, and scallions; cook, stirring constantly, until heated through, about 1 minute. Let your delicious rice mixture hangout in the pan because it’s time to get going on that beeeeef.

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First off, your going to need a lot of small bowls on hand so get em’ lined up and let’s tackle the second half of this dish. Combine the garlic, ginger, scallion whites, and peppercorns in a small bowl. Then, combine the soy sauce, vinegar, 1 tablespoon of wine, hot bean paste, and sugar in another small bowl and stir until the sugar dissolves. Dissolve the cornstarch in the remaining 1 tablespoon wine in another small bowl. Blanch the broccoli florets in boiling salted water for 30 seconds. Refresh under cold water and drain.

Heat a wok over high heat heat. Swirl in the oil. Add the dried chilies and cook for ten seconds, or until dark and fragrant. Remove the chilies with slotted spoon and discard. Add the minced ingredients and cook for 15 seconds, or until fragrant but not brown. Add the sliced beef and stir fry for 2-3 minutes. Add the sauce and cook for 1 minute, or until the beed is cooked. Stir in the broccoli. Stir the cornstarch mixture and add it to the stir-fry with scallion greens. Bring the sauce to a boil and toss in the fried rice. Stir the mix together until the rice is nice and hot. Serve immediately. Phew, that was a long one, but you’re all done and ready to feast.

Some Delightful Links

I basically feel like I’m living in the god damn arctic over here as I battle through what seems like the 100th snowy day of April. I figured I would share some things that are helping me though this bleak and cold Tuesday:

1) Hisham Zahran:  Never heard of this bro in my life, but he sure puts together one hell of a mix.  Lush, deep grooves for your morning. Listen Here

2) The band Dawes, out of California just released a new album and after three listens I can confirm that I really like it.  Some songs get a bit sappy for me but there are some gems in there with great melodies and arrangements and some lyrics that are right on point.  This song, my favorite from the album, spoke to me on many different levels.  Aside from having one of the catchiest melodies and refrains around, the lyrics basically describe every plane ride I have ever been on.