Winter Chef Salad

About the Music: Chef salads are the 80′s mix tape of salads. It’s just a bunch of ingredients that may not be particularly exciting by themselves, but together they form something so delicious, so cohesive, it makes you want to stand outside your crush’s window blasting Peter Gabreil – Jon Cusak style.

Prep Time: 45 minutes

6 eggs
2 lbs smoked ham (sliced thick)
2 lbs turkey (sliced thick)
2 lbs swiss cheese (sliced thick)
2 heads of green cabbage
2-3 avocados, sliced
1/2 lb cherry tomatoes
Salt and pepper to taste

Russian dressing:
4 healthy tbsp good mayo
4 healthy tbsp Heinz Chili Sauce
1/2 lemon

First, slice the cabbage to your desired size and shape. The ideal size is something roughly two inches long and about a half a centimeter wide. To make life easier you can do this with a food processor. When diced, stick the cut cabbage in a big-ass bowl.

Meanwhile, get a pot of water boiling so you can hard boil some eggs.

Next, take your meats, which should be cut at about one centimeter thick, and sliced into inch long rectangular-like cubes. Do the same thing with the cheese. Add everything atop your cabbage.

Slice your avocado and tomato and arrange on top of your now impressively large bowl of sliced meats, cheese and veg.

Take your eggs out and peel under running water, this will make it much easier to peel the shell off the egg. Slice the egg horizontally so you get some nice cross sections of yolky egg decor. Throw those on top of your growing pile and do a little two-step with a smile.

To make the dressing – mix mayo and chili sauce until there is a relatively consistent texture throughout- the color should be pinkish. Squeeze in lemon to tasters preference. I use about a half a lemon. If dressing appears watery add an even amount of mayo and chili sauce till consistency returns. Crack pepper to taste. If you prefer more chili sauce add it, if you prefer more lemon add it. There is nothing set in stone about this recipe. Basically go 50/50 on the mayo/chili sauce and then add lemon and pepper to taste. It is best to test the dressing with a slice of ham, celery, carrot etc. Russian dressing is a great dip and is excellent for facial exfoliation.

Prep yourself a hearty bowl of your salad, add your dressing on top. Stop, shake it down to the music for a hot second, now eat.

The SFunk Thanksgiving Essential Mix(es)

About the music: It’s Thanksgiving, we here at Sandwich Funk are not going to try and tell you what to make, thats for tradition to decide. We are however going to tell you what to listen to while you make it. We have assembled over four hours of the best cooking chunes we could muster. To get a little idea of what your in store for, check out the tile mosaic of who we are featuring, along with a little write up about all of the music listed below.


We start things off with Snoop Dogg’s “Tekno Euro Mix.” Now you may be thinking to yourself, that’s just about the strangest way to get me in the mood for turkey, but believe you me, prepare to expect the unexpected. This mix’s title, clearly a joke by snoopaloop, would probably make you think that you’re in for an hour of raging tech-house, but worry not my child, this mix contains nothing but sultry nu-disco jams to warm up our ear-pie.

After your body is all nice and loose after listening to the music stylings of the artist formerly known as Snoop Dogg, we transition into a mix by a DJ duo called Libra Discotheque from Tel Aviv. This set is a live recording from a random set they preformed in the city, but that certainly doesn’t take away from its quality. The mix has a lot of soul and really sustains a great groove throughout its hour and forty-five minutes.

After Libra Discotheque does its thing we transition into an hour of music we selected to get you thinking about the things that matter most during Thanksgiving – friends, family and the funk.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving my funky friends. Now it’s time for me to get back to cooking this jive turkey!

An Eggcellent Caprese

About the music: During sophomore year of college, my roommate at the time introduced me to his favorite genre of music aside from rhythmic Baboon wailing–Blissed-out Downtempo Electronic. Songs in this genre really take you away to your happy place, much the same way that this dish transports your taste buds to the italian countryside. I thought it was a fitting match. Plus, this is going to be one of your sleeper dishes that you bust out to surprise people with your culinary mastery, and these tracks fit that quiet yet confident swagger.

Serves: 1+
Prep time: 15 minutes

1 egg
Small handful fresh basil
1+ slices good Italian bread
Handful cherry tomatoes
5 oz mozzarella
1 clove garlic, minced
Salt and pepper to taste


Sometimes you just need a go-to dish, something that is quick, yet God damn delicious. The kind of dish where you say to your friend, “I’m just gonna make a quick snack before we go out,” and 10 minutes later you come back with dish in hand and your friend soils himself in jealousy. Or at least something close to that. This is that dish.

Step 1, poach your egg like a god damn champion of egg poaching. Take about a square foot of plastic wrap and lay it flat on the counter. Next, brush one side with your oil/butter of choice (think truffle oil, or simply melted butter). Add a sprinkle of desired seasonings. We were making a caprese so we did butter, salt and pepper, and some chopped basil. Now take your plastic wrap and push the center down into a small cup or bowl (you will see why). Now take an egg and crack it into your cup which is now filled with your plastic wrap. take the four corners of the plastic wrap and lift them up, so you have a bag ‘o egg. Now tie it closed with some kitchen twine with as little air inside as possible. Plop it in some boiling water for 3.5 minutes and you have yourself a perfectly poached egg formed in a ball infused with all of your favorite flavors.

While the water is heating for your egg, heat your sliced tomatoes and garlic in some olive oil until soft, about 8 minutes.

While that is happening, you can also slice and toast your bread, slice the mozzarella and prep your basil, not that the basil needs much prepping, or any prepping at all for that matter.

Once the egg has poached and the tomatoes are soft, you can assemble your treat. put a layer of tomatoes on the bread, followed by the mozzarella. Now stick you egg on top and put the basil atop that. Your treat is complete. Break the egg, let it wash over your delicious concoction and enjoy

Photo credit: Kitchen Trial and Error

  • Andreas Blomkvist

    primo playlist!